posted 03-31-2002 03:28 PM         

As you all know, Easter is the approximate day in which the infamous bunny rose from the dead, promising onlookers to return each year and fulfill the malevolent curse he set upon mankind to slowly destroy them by rotting their teeth, not allowing them to eat buffalo wings, and thereby eventually starving us or driving us mad from grief.

Now, years later, since we are soooo darned smart, we found a way to hinder his fell plans by cursing his spirit and making him the only egg-laying bunny to ever exist. His humiliaton was great, but the curse was too strong for the bunny magi to dispel, so he shunned his kindred and accepted his fate, returning each year to lay magical eggs that, if found, will slow the effects of his evil chocolate likenesses, allowing us to go on with our buffalo wing feasting for the other 364 days a year.

I would like us all to give thanks to the resourceful men and women who defeated the easter bunny all those years ago. The world would be a horrid place without buffalo wings (and beer, of course, but that's more related to that evil tooth faery).

Have a happy easter and remember to raise a buffalo wing in memory of our ancestors who struggled without hope against the great evil of the bunny.